Fixing the Fixations

For twenty four years, or for his entire life he tried to fix things. Never ever were the things in a "fixed" state for a considerable period of time in his life. The constant flux bothered him a lot but he chose to ignore it conveniently and blamed it on his short term plans. Whenever he had free time he made long term plans and dreamed about those. One day when he was in a hysterical mood, he noticed that his long term plans also changed so much with time. Now he was in a fix, trying to fix his life, he sadly acknowledged that all the worries he had, may was in vain.

He was not ready to give up yet, so he started thinking. Thinking may have done wonders for him but, it forced him to change his philosophy. If he had not thought he wouldn't have found out his philosophy so he decided to change his philosophy. He started thinking about the alternative philosophies he can adopt. He thought that reading some books and applying the ideas from them would help him there. But it was like Indian caste system, castes, subcastes and hierarchies in subcastes, soon he found himself lost.

East or West was the primary question, then came Indian or Chinese, then the hundreds of permutations and combinations.He realized that he cannot even understand them properly even if he devotes a considerable time in his life. His heart sank but he never tried to fix it. He concluded that no wise men have found out their philosophies by studying them all.

He decided to trust reason to find out what he wanted but, the thought that the reason is underpinned in causality gave him a scare. What if there is no cause in the first place. What if the very existence is baseless? What if we see things because we believe in them so strongly? What if there is another plane of interpretation and we just don't see it? What if...

Suddenly a voice from heaven struck him like thunder "..., Tomorrow morning is the deadline, you better start working". He became the old self who worried about anything and everything and lived happily ever after.